31 December 2008

What to Accomplish Next Year

I really wanted to write in Cebu but I haven't quite had the means or find time to do so. It was good that I got away from Manila for three days, though I must say that Cebu is probably Manila sans about seven cities. I needed the time to get away and rethink what I have to do.

I set some goals at the start of  2008, hit and miss if I may say, as some I got to do exactly while as for the others...well...

1. I said that I would go to Bangkok by October. I did tweak a little as I went to Malaysia and Singapore instead.

2. I said that I would transfer to a multi-national company after a year. It was not multi-national but I did get to Petron didn't I? My protective gear is just mean man!

3. Visit Palawan. I just came back from Cebu didn't I?

4. Lose ten pounds. MISS by a mile!!! Darn!

5. Swim a kilometer. Check!

So now I present my must-do's for 2009. Let's see how many do I get to do.

1. Have a change in hairstyle, get a short cut. I've worn my hair like this since that hairstylist in David's did not quite have the same definition of shoulder-length hair as I did. apparently he thought that my collar bone was connected to my chin. Now I need to invest good money on this or else I would risk having siopao face for months.

2. Go to Bohol with Banj, Ann and whoever wants to go with us. I want that Loboc River experience.

3. Have lunch at Sonia's Garden with Byosh, Angelo, Ron and Diane. For heaven's sake guys WE NEED TO GO OUT!

4. Read Malinche which I bought March this year and is still covered with plastic from the bookstore. Untouched.

5. Swim 1.5 kilometers and LOSE TEN POUNDS.

6. Get braces which I had been procrastinating to get by February. If I haven't got the money yet by that time, my mid-year bonus in June is definitely going to fund that.

7. Get our car on the road. My licensed expired without me getting the car out of the garage. How's that for LOSER with a capital L and in bold letters?

8. Cut loose ends. It's over now move with the world. It does not stop with my misery.

*****
Now I hate this American who had the nerve to had his cellphone in loud settings earlier today...inside a plane, our plane, which was taking off. Man if you want to die, don't take the whole plane with you. The reason why plane instructions are said in Filipino and English is due to consideration of your compehension skills. What part of the "cellular phones must be turned off" did you not understand?!

*****
Koreans were everywhere in Cebu! And I mean everywhere! Beach, mall, museum, elevators...did I already say everywhere?



28 December 2008

Wisdom From Bob Ong

I got this from Yumi's blogspot: http://goddessdomain.blogspot.com/

Bob Ong really is smart. By the way I've highlighted those which really struck me

*****


1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una." (semi lang 'to, I don't really know what i want right now)

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

16. "Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"

17. "Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

19. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

*****

Share ko lang


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16 December 2008

Animalandia

I hate chihuahuas. They look like four-legged creatures with hydrocephalus and growth retention. I don't know why there's this fascination with them when in fact they do nothing but be an accessory in one's tote. I find pugs way amusing than these hideous breed of dogs. Yeah even though they chew on your furniture for a living.


No offense meant though to those who are owner's of one but if you want to be amused, damn buy a PSP. Or if you really want a dog, why not get a chowchow...



or a beagle...




or if you really want something to dress up, a shitzu.




Now tell me that a chihuahua would rank first in a doggie beauty contest. Like duh!

Oh well...kanya-kanya lang yan.

Come to think of it, in fact I like pigs better.

*****
I don't know what hit me this afternoon that I suddenly want a stuffed animal. Not those furry ones, I'd probably die of asthma if ever I get near one. There's this cute pig and penguin from So Cool that I really like and I would probably buy after Christmas. I needed something to hug, even though it would never hug me back. But then it would probably be freaky if ever it would hug me back.
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06 December 2008

Fire Drills and Gift-Wrapping

I had the perfect plan the other day: I would go to the bank early morning.

Why?

Because I was avoiding the fire-drill.

Damn my legs haven't fully recovered from climbing seven crude tanks last Sunday and now I would have to undergo the grueling muscle pain that going down the stairs give. I swear it takes me twice the usual time walking time. And oh yeah before I forget the most important detail: I am located at the 38th floor.

What I did not anticipate was the sirens would go off at 9 AM. So yes folks, my plan did not materialize.

Funny though, there was this girl who was taking her breakfast while going down the stairs. Seriously?! May I just remind you that we are simulating a fire here. Hello?

*****
Pia's back! And along with her are the heavenly creations that are Belgian chocolates. *Drools*




*Drools some more...*





Meris reunion right there. I love my grade school friends!


*****
So today I officially create my own department: Arts and Livelihood Education. Nyahaha!

I just wrapped around 20 sports bottles and here I am wrapping my Christmas gifts. Promise the only presents that you would find under our Christmas tree are mine. I just want to share my blessings with everyone this year so I was very giddy to give. It's better to give than receive right children?

Anyway back to the gift-wrapping, I find this therapeutic that even though I really want to zonk in bed right now, I would still choose to wrap my presents.

But I might hold that off for now, I have another set of tanks to climb tomorrow. I might be going home at the wee hours of the morning.

Damn. No social life for me tomorrow then.
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29 November 2008

Interesting...

I found this at Gasthof, that restaurant where we ate the other night in downtown Legazpi:




I think I've learned my lesson quite well in this department. Yeah, I was WAAAAYYY interesting that time. Crap.

Humor me more.
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28 November 2008

Bicol Express

It's my last day here in Legazpi and I haven't even gone to see Mayon yet. Last night I was supposed to post an entry but I lost it in the middle of posting. Maybe it wwas not meant to be read so as not to impart a certain level of melancholy that goes along with it.


Legazpi's gloomy; the weather here being too unpredictable. In the morning the sun's at its brightest only to rain just hours after. So was that just another one of my pessimistic views? I'm just stating a fact, no other meaning intended. It's just that gloomy's not good for somebody who's nursing.


Yesterday I was irritated at myself for being distracted in the middle of cramming my audit reports. In the first place this is what I wanted: to be busy to be distracted. So how come I am getting distracted from my distraction? In the middle of counting 3000 valves, things which I'm supposed to be letting go of now still manage to seep in.


Erase. Erase. Erase.


Let's change the topic now. So what have I done here besides work? Aside from buying pili and getting two shirts from ukay-ukay (Gap and Banana Republic mind you) I have done nothing but eat. Everyday's turning out to be a gastronomic feast that I fear the weighing scale this moment. And oh yeah I've seen the Mayon Volcano...FROM THE ROAD. Now how pitiful is that? My Bicol experience is defined by my consumption of laing and bicol express.


Cool. I discovered that Chili Peppers started out here in Legazpi. Their baby back ribs is just divine! I was amazed because I thought that it was one of those gimik places in Makati. Or maybe I just thought that it was a gimik place because I see a lot of call center agents who have just ended their shifts taking their daily dose of San Miguel beer at 8 in the morning.


We're supposed to go to Cagsawa tomorrow morning in my desperate attempt to have my picture taken so I should be sleeping now. Besides, I haven't packed my things yet. So I guess this would be it for now. Pictures to follow


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23 November 2008

That's Just So Wrong

Okay so I was really irked today.

I went to the christening of Ainee's baby Ethan with Monette and Raymund this afternoon. Well, we were late and I was a ninang. Hehehe. It was a small celebration with only the closest of family and friends.




Commercial: Monette noticed that I was not myself this afternoon and she had a theory why. Maybe. I just could not accept the fact that I was drifting because of that reason; and I was not even aware that I was drifting. I was affected still and it's absolutely crappy.

Joanna repeat three times: Moment of Weakness. Charge to Experience.

The reception was held at Max's in front of Malate Church and being the harcdcore camwhores that Monette and I are, we took advantage of the Manila Bay sunset and took our pictures (with Raymund as our official photographer )


So anyway Monette wanted to got to Star City since we were already in the vicinity but because I had a prior commitment with someone who "wanted to meet because he needed help" (whatever...) I couldn't. I was actually texting the him at around 4 PM if we would still meet. Having received no reply, I assumed that we were.

Joanna's Meet-up Rule 1: A meeting is on unless otherwise cancelled by either party.

I left at around 6 PM and was at Trinoma by 7:30. Having a previous history of a no-show, I decided to call just to be safe and I would not waste my time if ever. Apparently I was right: I would be waiting for no one.

Joanna's Meet-up Rule 2: Have the courtesy to inform the other party way before the meeting time if the meeting's going to be cancelled.

Dude, that's supposed to be automatic. Heard of common courtesy?

So you were sick, I get it. My EQ is quite high not to be disappointed and make a big deal out of that. What I was really upset about was that you did not even have the courtesy to text me (or answer my text for that matter) about it. It was your head that was aching and not your hand for crying out loud. Haven't you even thought about the fact that I could already be there? You set the time at 8 PM and I knew about it at what time? 7:30? And who wanted to meet up again?

I could have gone out with friends but because I believe about this certain word of honor thing, I decided to show up only to be annoyed big time.

Still thinking about making up for past sins? How about trying not to pile them up some more.
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14 November 2008

The Dress Quest

I lost yet another earring last Tuesday as I was scouting the mall for that perfect dress; and it was not jut any other earring, I would like to believe that it has brought me luck during the four years that it had been with me. Back in college, I wore it (along with the matching necklace) to every exam. I wore it during my board exams. I wore it to all the job interviews I went through. It's just so sad that I did not even notice that it was already gone from my left ear. Hay...kainis.

Now I have to find another lucky charm.

*****

I don't know whether to be happy about this or what.

I was at People are People at Trinoma looking for a gimik outfit for this coming Saturday. I found this really nice teal silk dress and thinking that it was free size, i tried it on. To my dismay, it did not flatter my figure (naks! figure talaga) as I found it to be loose for me. I then asked the saleslady if there were sizes available in which she responded that all the stocks have been brought out already.

So there I was really determined to have that dress in my size and I found myself digging through that humongous pile of clothes. Sad to say, I failed. they do not carry it in my size as almost all the clothes were in sizes L and XL.

Oi ngayon lang nangyari yan na wala akong size dahil lahat maluwag...Feeling payat. Nyahaha.

But hrrr...I really wanted that dress!!!

10 November 2008

So How Did I Celebrate My Birthday?

I was online at 12 midnight last Wednesday blogging about the previous year. Pabs was the first one who greeted me probably due to the fact that he was taking his yosi break during that time huffing and puffing the call-center stress brought to him by E-telecare.. Well I think Pabs has developed this habit to be the first to greet anyone on their birthday. I sincerely love you dear!


With Pabs back in 4th year college. Ang payat pa namin. Sheesh.


Next birthday greetings came from Angela and Lizelle but then I was too sleepy to reply. Hehe. My girlfriends have always been my pillars and I just don't know where would I be without them. I grew up dancing to Backstreet Boys (oo na kagagawan ko na ang mga kahihiyang ito...) and had my first shot of Jose Cuervo with them. Mwah to you girls!

Well I was at the new-hire orientation at Petron for most of that day so I was kind of in a soiree, mingling with fellow newbies in the company. I was actually surprised that my birthday turned out to be a part of the program, with the HRD taking out a cake for me to blow. O diba pabidang bata? Parte ng program! Sosyal!

I received a few calls from MVC, the first one coming from Mother. I was kind of disappointed with certain people that I think they practically forgot my day. Ehem...you know who you are friends.

Come evening I had carbo-loading with my family at Aveneto. I have a default order from this place: Nut Pesto with Chicken, Baked Zitti with Meatsauce and New York Pizza. Apart from these, I've added a must try dish: Oil and Garlic Pasta with Hungarian Sausage. In "Dora the Explorer" tone: Delicioso!

Oh and by the way, I practically begged my mom (who was asking for a refund?!) to buy me a caramel cake from Estrel's. Uber yummy!!!



And yes my siblings were asking why their names were not written on the cake.

I was in a trance that day because I don't want anything, or anyone, to ruin my day.

Inhale. Exhale.

I had a post-birthday celebration last Saturday at Blue Without U Videoke and Bar located at the Esquinita Strip. It was a small celebration with only the closest friends in tow. Beer, beer and more beer!

I was actually happy because Tres was there and if you'd only know the effort we make just to see each other you'd understand why. He left at 11:30 and his call time the following morning for PAL was at 3 AM. Sorry naman special ako.



It was nice that my friends from everywhere were well-represented. I had my neighbors, whom I practically grew up with, Angelo and Byosh. We had been friends since uh...well since Angelo and I shared the same service driven by Mang Kiko back in grade school. Byosh was kinda recent. I've been close to her only back in college but it just doesn't feel like that. Mabuhay ang mga NBSB! Agree Byosh? Oh yeah I forgot that you are already plotting for your office romance. Dude huwag na! Masakit sa bangs!


Attorney Byosh, Architect Angelo and Engineer Joanna


Then of course I have my beautiful girlfriends. Unfortunately Giulia had to take care of a certain emergency so we were lacking one.Well actually two since Ria is in Dubai and I terribly miss her. Go back home na Ria!


Ana. Joanna. Banj. Lizelle

And I have my org friends, Rupert and Ann. Well Rupert is also part of the Pisay group but for the purpose of distinguishing people, I placed him in this group. Yuck ginawang technical! Ann is my travel and swim buddy. Saan ang next destination natin?



Bottles of beer and sisigs later we decided to call it a night. Byosh and I headed to Baang Coffee in Tomas Morato to catch up some more since I haven't seen her since errr...January? Byosh just found out that she was missing one hell of a part of my life. Literally it was a hell of a part. Ron followed having been from the far far away land of Antipolo, apparently to seal the deal with his love life. Funny anecdote last night:




Byosh:
Nag-drive ka pa-Antipolo? Kawawa ka naman.
Ron: Mas kawawa naman ata ako kung nag-commute ako pa-Antipolo. Hello?

Wahehe.



At hindi pa natapos sa Baang yan. Tumambay pa kami sa Starmart after. Wenk.


I got home at around 5:30 AM. I was happy. With all this love, I can get through any crap.

Even through the asses of the world.

*****
Something bad happened last night. Tres texted me at around 2 AM saying that his pants gor slashed and his wallet was gone. along with it was 4000 pesos and his credit cards. Worse? the thief charged 12,000 pesos to the card.

What's amazing? Tres said "hayaan mo na, nangangailangan lang talaga ng pera yung tao."

Heck I was agitated! It was fortunate that it was all that happened and that he was not hurt or anything. I was just so thankful that nothing worse happened to him.

09 November 2008

This Year's Birthday Cake

I've always heard my mom bragging about how delicious Estrel's Caramel Cakes are for like forever! The first time that I've tasted their cakes however was that one time at Ahead and boy have I been craving for their cakes since.

They're like up there in the cakes department!


See the pretty roses adorning my cake? Funny that my mom did not include my siblings on the cake.

I am a chocoholic and do not like caramel that much but this cake is just an exemption to that. Estrel's cakes contains no preservatives hence the shelf life is only for two days. If you want to taste their sumptuous creations, you have to place an order at least two days in advance. But for busy seasons such as Christmas, you have to place your orders way earlier than that. That's why I made sure to ask my mom to buy me a cake from Estrel's on my birthday *winks*


Sad thing is that they do not deliver but I guarantee that the trouble of picking it up at their shop is way worth it!

Estrel's is located in 54 Scout Tobias corner Scout Limbaga, Brgy. Laging Handa Quezon City. Tel. No.: 372-2965; 371-7938

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05 November 2008

I remember writing this entry exactly a year ago. Last year was quite an uneventful birthday. I remember coming home to a sleeping family with a piece of Chickenjoy and Jolly spaghetti on the table and a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in hand. For the first time since I was seventeen, I did not have the usual celebration with friends and booze (well now that I remember it. it was mainly because my account got debited on that long weekend because of the darn ATM machines at Trinoma.) I chose to relish the first day of my twenty-third year alone.

Uneventful, of course, was not the way that I would have wanted it to be but it wasn’t necessarily bad either. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a “melancholic” birthday, even leading me to dread the fifth of November. How odd it was that even with all the love being shown by the people around me, I still allow myself (and my day) to be destroyed by one person. Looking back, I’ve realized that the culprit was different for each year. How remorseful.

So the 2007 one was bland, but it broke that vicious birthday cycle. This year, well I must admit that I again find myself in that path but I will try to push myself onto that street with “HEALING” written in big bold letters.

Most of the time, I have seen the world as black; choosing to look at the glass as half empty rather than half-full. I have found myself incessantly wallowing in self-pity and though I vowed to start looking from the sunny side of the fence, it’s still hard to lose one’s old ways.

Rereading my previous year’s entry made me realize one thing: circumstances might have been altered, the people and events involved might have been different but nevertheless it was generally quite the same story with a little bit of tweaking. True enough, most things aggravate with age and sad to say, contentment is one of those.

It’s sad that I forgot how pleasant the taste of warm coffee was just because my tongue got scalded; how one setback or defeat casted a shadow over my accomplishments and worse led me to stop believing. I am aging in number but I still doubt whether my maturity is in level with it.

So where have I been the past year?

This year I discovered things about myself, both good and bad. I've done things that I never thought I would be capable of and up to this very minute I still question how and why; something that I am not and probably would never be proud of and it haunts me everyday big time.

A vast amount of time, I was struggling: struggling to get by each day, struggling to change the turn of events, struggling to put up a brave front, struggling to breathe. It breaks me that all I can remember was that I was in a huge amount of pain. I have mastered the art of theatrics being that strong feisty woman on the outside and when the lights go out I become this little girl curled into a ball in that dark and cold corner of the room.

I have previously written that I have drawn a numerous amount of lines and that maybe it is time to risk and cross and look at the view from a different perspective. I did just that. Of all the lines to cross, it was most unfortunate that I chose the one with a cliff on the other side. And yet feeling that my left foot was nowhere near the ground, I chose to continue turning a blind eye on that colorful streamer with the words “Caution: Fatal” written with blinking lights. I took a chance. Now where did that take me?

Yes, I was bitter and blamed myself substantially for it. I was angry and my cup of emotions was filling with fury and hatred to the brim. Then I woke up one morning, stared at the mirror and realized that I was not liking the person I was seeing. I was afraid of whom I was becoming and I know that I must clean up my act the moment I gather the strength to do so.

If life is indeed about choices then in a snap of a finger I would definitely opt to take the following: to be okay, to be at peace and to forgive even without being asked for forgiveness. Now if I could only be granted these then it would lead to that one thing that I have been wanting to attain for the longest time.

Aside from the material things (which includes a Pink Sony Vaio and a pair of blue slim Havaianas *wink*) as cheesy as this may sound, I just want to be truly happy again; that the hole that I have been feeling in my chest for the past years be filled. I want to laugh lo my heart's content like there’s no tomorrow. I want to find joy again the simplest things; when raindrops used to mean a tranquil sleep rather than setting the mood for a bawl fest or when staring at the setting sun at the roof of our house when I was twelve brought me bliss rather than anxiety. Now where is that bunny which would give me my happy pill?

Amidst all the crap, I acknowledge the fact that I do have a lot of things to be thankful for. I am blessed with a far from perfect but nonetheless a very beautiful family. I have achieved my goal to elevate myself in my career ladder within a year of entering the corporate world. I have managed to keep my ties with old but forever dependable friends and transformed mere acquaintances into new ones. I have collected a lot of coffee cup, bubble tea and beer bottle memories. I haven’t been ill nor figured in an accident. I have finally had my passport stamped as I was able to set foot and explore not one, but two foreign lands. I am ending my twenty-third year with the achievement of now being able to swim a whole kilometer in the MASA pool. I have lots of things to look forward to still in that pink metallic box with a huge bow that life is presenting in front of me for my twenty-fourth year.

I am looking forward to changes. Physically there’s going to be a major and some minor ones. Emotionally, that is what I have to condition myself for. Right now I start by painting my nails red.

Quoting Forrest Gump, life is indeed a box of chocolates and as much as I am scared I am also thrilled to indulge in the truffles that the world has in store for me.



28 October 2008

Go On Boy

The last four days had been wicked! I visited my MVC family last Thursday (strategic timing? hmmm...) and had lunch there. Of course photo ops with Monette in their very organized department



Friday was Coffee Bean day. I felt the urge to satisfy my craving for a White Choco Dream Latte in the morning so even though it was not exactly the nearest coffee shop (haha we have a Gloria Jeans franchise at the ground floor of the MegaPlaza) I headed for the Coffee Bean in Salcedo Village. Alright I was guilty of wanting to bump into someone because the circumstances are favoring against me. Wishful thinking.

I was back at the same coffee place come lunch time because I ate there with Banj. She then invited me for a videoke session with her friends at Music 21 at Jupiter st. I was actually hesitant at first but what the hell, I needed to unleash the vocal prowess that is me. Nyahaha. If there was one thing that I have learned in LB is that nothing beats the wrath and tension-releasing power of a good empowerment song. I again maximized my lunch time and got back at the building at about 1:30

Nighttime, along with Giulia and Paopao aka Babeeh (wehehe), we were at Music 21 belting our hearts out.


Giulia and Babeeh



Favorite song of the night?

*sings*



Don't cha wish your girlfriend wa hot like me / Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me / Don't cha / Don't cha baby don't cha

Bato-bato sa heavens, tamaan guilty.

And yes this one's the best! Sorry if the video's...uh...well...tiyagain niyo na lang haha!

I dedicate this song to *bleep* while Banj dedicates this song to *bleep*




*sings again*

Go on boy. Go on boy.

I'll be fine.

*****
Dudes if you want a freaking diversion, get a facial. It's effing painful! You're going to be too busy with the excruciating pain that you just won't get to think about anything else. Trust me.

This is actually the same principle why I am becoming active again with swimming. whenever I am in the pool, all I get to think about is how am i going to reach the other side with the least amount of ingested water.

I had my derma treatment yesterday: Diamond peel with facial. The facial is painful enough but lo and behold I just had to have additional medications injected on my face. Mind you it was not one nor two nor three but nine! My face had to be injected nine times!

Goodness, the perils really of beautification.

24 October 2008

So I'm An Achiever...Deal With That.

I don’t know a person who has not encountered the topic of changing oneself to be liked, or worse, to be loved. Is it really essential to conform to another’s standards just to be appreciated?

Change is good especially if it will be for the better; to lose one’s identity is an entirely different story. A few minor adjustments are necessary, some compromises maybe, in order for relationships, romantic or not, to work out. Other than that, acceptance is probably more important.

Where is this coming from?

Let me start with this.

I have read from somewhere that there are guys who do not really like smart females because too much intelligence intimidates them and causes them to be insecure. Add to that, women with strong personalities also tend so scare them off.

The hell?! Since when did being gifted with hyperactive brain cells became a liability rather than an asset?

Okay, so is it our fault if we possess a much more attractive resume than you do? What could we do if we tend to communicate ourselves better than you? Is it hard to comprehend that we are not in a patriarchal society anymore? Long gone was that era when we put you on a pedestal while feeding you grapes. Women could excel. Deal with that.

So why am I affected this much with this statement?

I have always been told that I am intimidating and that probably drives men away. Specifically, something about the way I talk, walk, dress or carry myself spells out STRONG in bold letters. So does this mean that I would block my career path in order to please a guy’s wish? Would I change the way I carry myself so as not to exude that aura of confidence? Would I step down the career ladder to level myself with a man? Puhleezee.

I’m just sorry for the men who are much too insecure to deal with a woman’s success. Go ahead and settle for the dumb blondes so that you can feel the machismo. We are not created to stroke your egos. You are probably not worth our intelligence anyway.

On the other side of the fence, those who think that they are not worth of the woman, I believe that is for us to decide. I pity your cowardice.

22 October 2008

This Love.

After three long months I am rejuvenated. It feels good to be alive again, to feel the adrenaline rush flowing in your veins. It just gives me that kick and I cannot explain the happiness it bring me.

Swimming.

Hay...love.

And I am doing it again tomorrow.

*****
Amazing! I can now finish the whole length (that is a good 50 meters mind you) of the pool without stopping. My lungs are strengthening up. I am super-sayan Joanna. Hahaha!

20 October 2008

Wisdom from Bianca Gonzales

During one of my boredom episodes at work I stumbled upon this blog entry written by TV host Bianca Gonzales. This is taken from her site The Diary of a Supergirl Wannabe.




this post is dedicated to all those going through difficult matters of the heart!

”diary of a broken heart”, this was my planned title for a diary-of-sorts that i wanted to write when i was brokenhearted once. i thought to myself, what if isulat ko lahat ng nararamdaman ko araw araw sa loob ng isang buong taon, then i’d be able to read it when i am healed, and see my journey from a new point of view, from denial to anger to bitterness to hope to healing (or whatever jumbled order you’ve experienced in your own love life) and maybe, it might be able to help future broken hearts out there.


but, i never got to writing it.

siguro dahil sa sobrang sakit, kapag naiisip kong magsulat, nananalo na lang yung kagustuhan kong magmukmok sa isang tabi. imbis na mag-effort pa ako na mag-isip at magpagod, ginusto ko na lang na wala na lang akong intindihin. hanggang sa lumipas ang mga linggo, mga buwan, i went through all kinds of emotions (na slightly nakakabaliw talaga yung iba ha!), until one day, i was okay.

having said all that, and having heard some of the most saddening break-up stories the past weeks, allow me to try to reconstruct a few of the things i’ve learned in life, and love, that might help that broken heart of yours or of someone you know.

1. on advice.

kapag brokenhearted ka.. no advice said to you will make you feel better. none. as in. wala. kahit ano, walang effect. kapag brokenhearted ka, the only thing that you think will make you feel better is if the one you love will say they love you too. but they won’t. (in some cases, they won’t ever, but in some, they won’t just for this point in time.) hugs will comfort you, concerned texts will make you smile, but no amount of advice will make you feel better.. unless! unless you decide to let it make you feel better. don’t be pressured though to follow everyone’s advice. kanya-kanya lang yan. of the one hundred cliché lines thrown at you at an attempt to make you feel better, most will not make you feel better (in fact, some will make you feel worse), but there will be a few major lines (not necessarily given by those closest to you, mind you) that will speak to you and touch your heart and soothe your soul. those pieces of advice, you hold on to.

2. on prayer.

a broken heart will wake up some days so unbelievably hopeless and wanting to just stay in bed all day. some will even go all out in saying they want to die (but of course you don’t really want to die, right?) a broken heart will wake up some days feeling somewhat rested and peaceful, but with a slight fear that they might encounter something that day that will bring back all the pain. whatever mood the broken heart wakes up in, one thing remains. it’s a broken heart. and this may sound cheesy or false to some, but there is only one thing that can heal all things broken. our LoRd and personal savior, JeSus ChRisT. when your heart is peaceful, give thanks. when your heart is troubled, still give thanks and ask for deliverance. when your heart is shattered into a million pieces, still give thanks, and ask that you may learn whatever life lesson it is that He wants you to learn. in both high and low, give thanks, because it is one of the surest things in life that GoD only works for the good of those who love Him.

3. on moving on.

don’t be pressured! for some it takes weeks. for some, months. for some, years! of course no one likes the pain that a broken heart brings. (its pain like no other! araaay talaga grabe!) but, you have to go through it. there is no short cut, there is no other way. go through it. go and let it out. cry before you sleep, cry when you wake up, cry in the bathroom, cry to your friends. lock yourself in the room, stay in bed all day, don’t talk to anyone for hours, make senti all you want. do it all. don’t let anybody stop you. (but don’t let it get in the way of school or work or the things you have to do either! okay? okay.) feel all those yucky, disgusting, heart-shattering feelings, curl it all up into this unbelievably sad ball, and one day, when you are ready, throw it out the window. it will happen for you. i know you feel it won’t, that the day you will be okay will never come, but it will. have faith, it will.

let me stop at this third point and end by saying that i’ve felt all those feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that you might be feeling right now. and, honestly, so have thousands, and millions of other people around you. it sucks. it really does. but hey. nobody said that it would be easy, but nobody said that you have to do it alone.

all this i share with pure sincerity from the bottom of my happy heart, to your soon-to-be happy heart! :)


*****
Very inspiring that I read this over and over and over again and I do not get tired of it at all.

I have a new favorite word: Healing

19 October 2008

Shoe Diaries

These are what keep me amused these days:



From top clockwise: 1) Mustard T-straps from Vincci (Malaysia); 2) Brown Kitten Heel Sandals from Vincci; 3) Gray Wedge Mary Janes from Matthews at CMG; 4) Red Peep-toe Wedges from Fiorucci; 5) Black Patent Pumps from Figlia.

Out of the five, I've only worn the mustard one; and I've only worn it once. So yes, the other four haven't touched the roads yet. Well, a girl can't have too many shoes right? Right!

Shoe count(yung functional lang ): 17 pairs
Tsinelas count: 5 pairs

Konti pa lang naman pala .
*****

I was with Monette earlier today at Robinson's Galleria to brave the crowd heading for the momentous event that is the 3-day sale. She was there to look for a gym bag. Yes naman oh gym buff na si Monette! While as for me, I am looking for a replacement for my Janylin black pumps which I have been using for the past year. Nananawagan na siya ng kapalit.

Commercial: It was actually the first time that I got to go out with Monette outside of work so it was really nice.

I found some really nice shoes. There was this beige mary janes from Charles and Keith that got a 1000 peso discount but too bad they don't carry it in my size. There was this another pair of beige pumps from Aldo and they do carry it in my size but I wasn't too sure if the length was okay. So even though it was 3000 pesos less than its original price I had to let it go. Boohoo!

Commercial ulet: I saw Iya Villania early this morning ordering a crepe (Duh!) from Crazy Crepes. Pretty pretty girl!

Bought the following that are so not shoes: red printed dress from 50th Avenue and lavender dri-fit top from Nike.

Anyway so I did not find what I was looking for in Galleria and Monette had to leave so I went to SM Megamall because they are also hoding a sale. I quickly noticed how different the crowds of the two malls were. It was much too crowded in SM at ang jologs talaga ng crowd dito forever. Hehe.

Well I found two shoes in SM: black pumps and gray mary janes (Refer to picture above)

*****
Words of Wisdom: Kapag binigyan ka ng kahit ano, automatic dapat ang "Thank You."

Now repeat until ma-autopilot na siya sa utak mo.

*****
Happy birthday Walter! Happy birthday Pedro! God bless both of you!
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