29 March 2012

Tipping Point

I have never seen myself this low. Hearing that news that you're on your feet again and now have someone new, I guess I just got devastated that I found myself downing glasses of cocktails and not reporting for work the following day. This was not like me. I've never allowed my emotions affect work or school. I was never the type to cry whole day and night and here I was crying to alcohol, crying to coffee, hell I was crying to just about everything.

Four months and I realized that all I ever did was "get by" and not really "move on." Four months was a breeze. I lived one day at a time but I never really got away from where I was. It felt unfair that here you are, finally having a new life and getting another shot at happiness while here I was stuck in the same place where you left me.

Everything is not just making any sense to me.

Back then you told me that you cannot be with me because you needed to figure things out. What I missed out in the story was that she was constantly entering the picture and that you chose her over me. Fine, that would have been understandable, that you made this one last effort to get  her back but you weren't able to. But this being with a new girl, I so totally cannot understand. If you cannot be with anyone or you say that you are not deserving of anybody, what the hell is this? Routine?

I don't know which is more painful, that you did not choose me or that it's all in black and white now that I was played.

There's a reason why I've always hated Summer. People who are unsure of their feelings have no business getting involved with anybody else much more mess up others.

5 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. :)

      I usually do not write about personal matters on this blog but I just felt that I needed a place to vent it all out.

      Delete
  2. Just so you know, yes you were played. And you're not the only girl he dated. I bet he dated more 5 or maybe 10, sometimes 2 at a time. Weeks ago, probably 2 weeks? He was dating another girl. And here's another one. Do you still believe that he finally moved on? Why mess up your work/studies crying over this guy? He is not worth it. And hey, you are way to far from the new girl. So cheer up and start to move on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know how you can say that I'm way too far from the new girl but thanks anyway :) I won't go into the details but I know that my happiness should not be dependent on another person. It's just a phase I had to go through. I'll be okay.

      Thanks for taking the time to post a comment. :)

      Delete
  3. nah, its OK, i'll post some personal things also in my blog, nice to meet you Joanna online =), I'm not really a love Guru or something, but as what my Lolo said haha =D, "True Love never fails" =) so meaning he doesn't deserve you gurl =D heads up!!

    ReplyDelete

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